She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
