I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
