Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
