Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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