did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
