we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
