I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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