why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
