he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
