I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
