I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
