Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
