WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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