How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need to stop coming to work sober
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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