It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
