dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
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