I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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