whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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