He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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