Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
