is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize