i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
