JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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