I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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