Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I believe in your delicious
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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