So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
try to milk me bitch
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