You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
