jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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