She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
