i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Go christen that room with your naked body.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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