i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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