So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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