Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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