Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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