just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize