i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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