sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
