they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
