goodnight i made you a song goodbye
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
