There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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