OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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