erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
