I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm like, not good at living.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
