True but thats because hes a fetus.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
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