I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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