Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
