Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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