as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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