He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
