You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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