And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
