Non-Jews are for practice
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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