so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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