i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
