Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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