I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
PANTIES FOUND
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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