As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize