I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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