nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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