textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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