I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
