If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
