Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
