Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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