you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
