talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
