I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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