you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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